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UNHINGED || The Hump-Day Threesome: Pigs, Psychos, and Priests, Oh My!

I feel like I should write a little something at the beginning of this week’s Hump-Day Threesome since it’s the first time I’m ever publishing this new weekly feature. The idea is simple: On Wednesdays I’ll post a recommendation offering you three films that you may or may not have heard of.

All of these films will come from my weekly devouring of random and obscure movies via websites like Hulu, Classic Cinema Online, Netflix, and etc. Sometimes I’ll throw in a cable network or DVD rental, but for the most part I’m going to suggest films that will be accessible to just about anyone.

Enjoy the threesome!

I. Fuzz

A bustling (and bumbling), Boston police department receives an anonymous phone call telling them that five-thousand dollars in small bills better find its way to a local cemetery or else the commissioner of parks and recreation will wind up dead. And so begins Fuzz—a nifty, little extortion-crime flick from 1972 starring Burt Reynolds, Tom Skerritt, Yul Brynner, and Racquel Welch.

Softened by a bleak, comedic edge, this film manages to stand out from the rest of the seventies-era crime flicks thanks to the occasional stylistic shot that makes you think, “That’s just fucking sweet,” as well as a ridiculous ending that delivers a highly-improbable confluence of random events that brings to mind the climax of a Guy Ritchie caper.

Admittedly, the film wanders a bit and sometimes feels more like a made-for-television movie than a cinematic gem, but all-in-all, the Fuzz delivers an entertaining 90-minute romp that’ll have you wanting to dust off the typewriter, swill some coffee, and pen your own retro-caper-crime saga while sucking down Pall Malls and donuts.

Look for this one on Flix On Demand. Check your cable listing to see if you carry it. Most services do.

II. Fists in the Pocket

Dysfunctional family? No—that doesn’t even begin to describe the dynamics involved in this film. It’s more like a haven of sociopathy. Imagine Hitchcock’s Psycho meets American Beauty, but set in the Italian countryside and peppered with a dash of epilepsy, a little blindness, and a pinch of incest.

Film critic Deborah Young said it best, “The film is still a knockout today. Mockingly ferocious, blasphemous, and subversive, Fists in the Pocket mounts a frontal assault on family values and Catholic morality.”

This movie is delightfully evil and will plant a malicious grin on your face.

You can find this Italian treasure on The Auteurs, which is my new favorite website. It’s the place to go to get your fix of highfalutin cinema, i.e. if you want a dose of Criterion Collection, independent, foreign, confusing, and beautiful films, then this is your new playground. And now you can sign up using your Facebook account for added convenience. Movies range from free to $5.

III. Princess

This ain’t no Manga-sci-fi-fantasy anime. Nope, this here film is a tale of righteous retribution that could have easily been a Tarantino revenge epic.

Princess answers the age-old question, which asks, “What happens when a bad-ass missionary priest abandons the frock to rescue his five-year old niece from a brothel and to avenge his sister’s death? Oh, and his sister just happens to be a major porn star whose effigy is worth millions.”

Okay, so maybe that’s not an age-old question, but it sure makes for a great fucking story. And nothing is more disturbing than a crowbar-wielding five-year old extracting her pound of flesh from a slimy porn producer. It’s just…wow…watch this film and try to make it through without cringing at least once.

You can find this one on Netflix Instant View. Personally, I prefer to run it through my Xbox 360 and watch it on my television, but hey, if you’re a laptop warrior, then watch it there. If you don’t have it, then I recommend you get it. A measly $8.99 a month will get you unlimited instant viewing privileges.

Fused Film UNHINGED is a stand alone featured, column, that rocks the inevitable. What does that mean? Well basically it features, off-beat, mentally blown material that is just is “unhinged” from our normal everyday content. We feature a range of some interesting vids to well-crafted articles on counter culture. It’s about lunatic fringe here, about leaving the flock to venture into the dark, violent, and bizarre world of counter culture, horror, grindhouse, and the avantgarde. It breaks the rules and spits on the traditional. The Hump-day Threesome is a sub-feature that gives insight on three films that you may or may not have heard of on Wednesdays.

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About the Author

Will Melton

Will Melton is a super-genius with raw talent for creativity. A master’s degree in media communication, an academic talent (acing his thesis), he ponders philosophy and film. He once considered being a novelist and calls his Sunday morning trips to the cinema “his church.” Some of his previous works online were for Funny or Die. He loves to film and did some camera work for a guerilla-style documentary in a Post-Katrina Lower Ninth Ward; this included running from the cops. He hates politicians, loves counter-culture and is pretty much an all-around irreverent smart ass! A lover and fighter, this guy loves trash cinema in the vein of spaghetti westerns, Kung-Fu flicks, Yakuza crime thrillers, zombie flicks and weird avant-garde stuff. He will talk hyperreality with anyone while eating tacos and drinking beer. Will has penned four feature-length screenplays—none of which have earned him any acclaim, prestige, or money. He is addicted to coffee and Kentucky bourbon, wishes cigarettes were healthy, and has watched Garden State over 35 times because he’s obsessed with the existential metaphors and Natalie Portman. Once, he interviewed Sean Astin backstage at a John Kerry for President Rally while serving as news editor for his college paper, The Current. He wants to marry Shannon Elizabeth and Hostel 2 was the only horror movie ending that made him rethink his love for horror.
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