UNHINGED || The Hump-Day Threesome: Pigs, Psychos, and Priests, Oh My!

By Will Melton • November 11, 2009 • 6 Comments

I feel like I should write a little something at the beginning of this week’s Hump-Day Threesome since it’s the first time I’m ever publishing this new weekly feature. The idea is simple: On Wednesdays I’ll post a recommendation offering you three films that you may or may not have heard of.

All of these films will come from my weekly devouring of random and obscure movies via websites like Hulu, Classic Cinema Online, Netflix, and etc. Sometimes I’ll throw in a cable network or DVD rental, but for the most part I’m going to suggest films that will be accessible to just about anyone.

Enjoy the threesome!

I. Fuzz

A bustling (and bumbling), Boston police department receives an anonymous phone call telling them that five-thousand dollars in small bills better find its way to a local cemetery or else the commissioner of parks and recreation will wind up dead. And so begins Fuzz—a nifty, little extortion-crime flick from 1972 starring Burt Reynolds, Tom Skerritt, Yul Brynner, and Racquel Welch.

Softened by a bleak, comedic edge, this film manages to stand out from the rest of the seventies-era crime flicks thanks to the occasional stylistic shot that makes you think, “That’s just fucking sweet,” as well as a ridiculous ending that delivers a highly-improbable confluence of random events that brings to mind the climax of a Guy Ritchie caper.

Admittedly, the film wanders a bit and sometimes feels more like a made-for-television movie than a cinematic gem, but all-in-all, the Fuzz delivers an entertaining 90-minute romp that’ll have you wanting to dust off the typewriter, swill some coffee, and pen your own retro-caper-crime saga while sucking down Pall Malls and donuts.

Look for this one on Flix On Demand. Check your cable listing to see if you carry it. Most services do.

II. Fists in the Pocket

Dysfunctional family? No—that doesn’t even begin to describe the dynamics involved in this film. It’s more like a haven of sociopathy. Imagine Hitchcock’s Psycho meets American Beauty, but set in the Italian countryside and peppered with a dash of epilepsy, a little blindness, and a pinch of incest.

Film critic Deborah Young said it best, “The film is still a knockout today. Mockingly ferocious, blasphemous, and subversive, Fists in the Pocket mounts a frontal assault on family values and Catholic morality.”

This movie is delightfully evil and will plant a malicious grin on your face.

You can find this Italian treasure on The Auteurs, which is my new favorite website. It’s the place to go to get your fix of highfalutin cinema, i.e. if you want a dose of Criterion Collection, independent, foreign, confusing, and beautiful films, then this is your new playground. And now you can sign up using your Facebook account for added convenience. Movies range from free to $5.

III. Princess

This ain’t no Manga-sci-fi-fantasy anime. Nope, this here film is a tale of righteous retribution that could have easily been a Tarantino revenge epic.

Princess answers the age-old question, which asks, “What happens when a bad-ass missionary priest abandons the frock to rescue his five-year old niece from a brothel and to avenge his sister’s death? Oh, and his sister just happens to be a major porn star whose effigy is worth millions.”

Okay, so maybe that’s not an age-old question, but it sure makes for a great fucking story. And nothing is more disturbing than a crowbar-wielding five-year old extracting her pound of flesh from a slimy porn producer. It’s just…wow…watch this film and try to make it through without cringing at least once.

You can find this one on Netflix Instant View. Personally, I prefer to run it through my Xbox 360 and watch it on my television, but hey, if you’re a laptop warrior, then watch it there. If you don’t have it, then I recommend you get it. A measly $8.99 a month will get you unlimited instant viewing privileges.

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