LOL: Joss Whedon Expresses Interest in Terminator Franchise Through Open Letter
The other day on the latest episode of the MixerCast, Alex Billington and I, discussed how Joss Whedon needs to do more feature films. All that said what if he did a big blockbuster franchise like JJ did Star Trek or Singer did X-Men/Superman? What franchise would he be the best at? Well apparently he thinks Terminator is the best thing for him. There has already been reports that the Terminator franchise is up for sale or auction but now it seems Whedon wants to stop a bidding war by offering to buy the franchise right now.
Nikki Finke of Deadline Hollywood published an open letter from Whedon to the owners of the rights and let’s just say in true Whedon fashion it’s freaking hilarious.
“I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where ‘hood’ was capitalized ’cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the ‘grapevine’ that the Terminatorfranchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola!Terminator off your hands. No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business.”
Whats even better than Whedon’s less than generous offer for the franchise is he even told the right holders what he planned to do with the series and some the new creative turns he’d give the franchise. Now to many people this letter would be deemed fake immediately but we do not think that is the case but rather Whedon having some fun as well as just showing how this franchise has been beaten to death since Cameron left.
1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).
2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.
3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.
4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)
5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!
This is the very reason I love Whedon because he is funny and I just enjoy his sense of humor about life and everything in it and how he blends that humor into the genres he uses ranging from sci-fi to horror. I think he pretty much just said in his letter what everyone in the fanboy world had been saying for awhile. I think the Terminator franchise still has potential, but only in the hands of someone who really knows what to do with it. Who knows they gave JJ the Star Trek keys maybe Whedon could remake Terminator with a fresh start, the alternate reality thing would work there too.
