Seaberry Sessions: Karate Kid Remake? Bad Idea
The news about the Karate Kid remake being produced by Will Smith just gets better. And by better, I mean absolutely terrible! Will Smith’s son Jaden is now the lead character, with Jackie Chan assuming the Miyagi role. As if all this wasn’t craptacular enough, now Academy Award nominee Taraji P. Henson is set to play Jaden’s mother. When will the madness end? I keep hopng that they will change their minds about this film, but they keep casting, so I guess I can give up on that. But little Jaden? Jaden is an okay actor, but I don’t know if he’s ready for a lead role. Also, the original film was about a teenager. I don’t know if I’m willing to sit through Jaden having his juicebox stolen from him during snacktime. I don’t really have any problem with Jackie Chan. He’s getting up in age, and he needs to play more mentor roles. I think he’s put his body through more than enough punishment. But Taraji should steer clear of this. See, movies like this are what take you from Oscar night to TV movies of the week. Just ask Mira Sorvino. Ask Jamie Foxx, he got in super paycheck mode following his Oscar win, and we see how that turned out. Miami Vice? Just typing those words makes me sick now. I understand Taraji’s temptation completely. She’s been busting her hump for several years in Hollywood, and she has a high profile now. I can understand a few paycheck roles like the next Tyler Perry film. However, we shouldn’t be quick to cash every check they throw at us. The one labeled “Karate Kid remake”could be way more costly to her career. This one may even tarnish Will’s teflon image. He’s already coming off the slightly less successful Seven Pounds film. Maybe if they named it something else I could get behind it. The name Karate Kid just brings back so many childhood memories: “Sweep the leg!” “Karate come from heart!” “Put him in a bodybag!” It’s bad enough The Neverending Story, Flight of the Navigator, and Buffy of all things are slated for reboots. Is nothing sacred? Must we continue to violate my childhood memories like some creepy uncle in an afterschool special? Bad touch, Will Smith, bad touch!! I just don’t think this needs to happen, I really wish Hollywood would quit mining for reboot gold and find alternative methods, such as original stories!! It’s a crazy idea, but is just might work. This news does not make me a happy camper, but I am sure that Will and Jackie Chan’s careers will recover. Jaden will be okay because Will’s his daddy. I just hope this move doesn’t land Taraji on a future installment of Dancing With the Stars or Celebrity Apprentice or some other career rehab show disguised as a reality show. Remember the Sorvino, Taraji, remember the Sorvino. This is an accident waiting to happen. I keep yelling “Watch out!!”, but nobody listens. Oh, well, at least I tried to warn everyone. If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Pat Morita turning over in his grave. Wax off, people, wax off.
Pat Morita doesn’t deserve this!!
